""Love is more than three words mumbled every day. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day."
|
 |
Thursday, July 28, 2005
I'm sick of blogdrive...this is boring....so i'll put my last entry up. An excerpt from my favorite movie...dunno why, but this is what came to mind to put up. Holler.
Here's the Synopsis: This is when Noah and Allie spent the whole day together, until Allie's mom came and picked her up and she told Allie that her fiance was in town. Allie goes back to Noah's house and she doesn't know what to do, and Noah gets mad at Allie because he felt like he was being "used" that she'll go and be with Noah then leave him and go back to her fiance...so this is their fight..
Allie: How can we be together..look at us we’re already fighting?
Noah:That’s what we do, we fight.You tell me when I’m being an arrogant son of a bitch and I’ll tell you when you’re being a pain in the ass… which you are 99% of the time I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings.. they have like a two second rebound rate and your back doing the next pain in the ass thing.
Allie: so what?
Noah: so it’s not gonna be easy it’s gonna be hard and were gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever…you and me everyday…would you do something for me please? Could you jus picture your life for me 30 years from now, 40 years from now. If it’s with that guy, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I could do it again, if that’s what you thought you really wanted, but don’t take the easy way out.
Allie: what easy way?there is no easy way, no matter what I do somebody gets hurt.
Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants. Stop thinking about what I want. What he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
Allie: it’s not that simple
Noah: WHAT? Do you want??Dammit what do you want?
(Here is when Allie leaves in her car and drives off...then she almost gets into an accident and pulls over to read the last letter that Noah wrote to her..)
Noah’s last letter to allie
My dearest allie,
Couldn’t sleep last night because I know it’s over between us but I’m not bitter anymore because I know what we had was real and if in some distant place in the future we see each other and our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that weakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hoped to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you. Noah
wahh wahh The Notebook rocks my world...haha such a sweet story..i wonder if my life will turn out this way...owell..that's life. haha peace out Blogdrive..peace out peeps who read this, i no longer have a purpose on this blogdrive because nobody does anything on it...haha so i'll see ya...it was fun knowing ya.."i love you. i'll be seeing you." mae..haha
Posted at 3:18 pm by Chochachoo
Permalink
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
i no longer have that affect..
After talking to certain people, they made me feel like i couldn't do anything to help. Even in situations the only thing i could do, is listen cuz a person can only do so much. Can't save everyone. Feeling helpess and watching someone fall apart is very heartbreaking. When that person is so stubborn to listen and doesn't want to hear anything you have to say just because you don't know the situation or know the feeling of it, they push you away. They don't want to hear any suggestions, but in actuality it could help if they only LISTENED to what you were trying to get through to them. Sometimes i know people have to vent and don't want to hear advice, just need people to listen, and i respect that...everyone needs that. So what i'm trying to say is that i don't have the affect on some people that i used to have. The feeling of knowing you helped someone, knowing you did something to make their life a little easier is a great feeling to have. It sucks to know that i don't have that affect on certain people that mean alot to me, and would rather talk to someone else rather than me..even if i've been there for a long time and know them like no other, but what can you do? I'm not mad or bitter about it, just sucks to have that feeling like i was something to that person, and now i'm really not. And i'm not talking about just one situation. I'm not being a girl about it, being emotional and reading into it too much, because it's true, i don't have that affect on certain people anymore..and it's ok, i accept it. Being pused away isn't a great feeling either, how do you live everyday knowing that you're hurting someone by pushing them away? Well, i'll tell you from experience that it's not a great feeling...you make your heart believe that it's for the better that's it's something "you have to do" but later on when you realize and go to other people for help, they don't know you they way that person knows you...and there you go all pathetic trying to get back into that person's arms...kinda sad, but the more you push people away, how do you expect to find your way back to them? Are you sure you know where you're going with what you're doing? Kinda a hypothetical question that really makes you re-evaluate everything. But to tell you the truth, i'm not waiting here for anything or anyone. The only thing i'm waiting for is for Jesus to come. I've learned to let go of alot of things that don't let me do the things i want or should be doing. And i've learned to gain and take new things in that i haven't for awhile, and it's a breath of fresh air, to live a new kind of life. i thought it was me and i re-evaluated myself, but i've been the same caring person that i've always been, willing to sacrifice anything for the sake of other people that i care about...so i know i haven't changed..if i have it's only gotten stronger and better. So even if i don't have that affect on certain people anymore and they continue to push me away i say..go right ahead because i'll keep a truckin like i've always been..just don't expect me to be happy when you finally see what you've been doing and try comin back.
Posted at 4:27 pm by Chochachoo
Permalink
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
So how has my life been? To tell you the truth, i'm happy. Truly enjoying my life and making the most of my summer. There are those moments where i zone out and start thinking about things. But i snap back to reality and this time it's not a bad reality...to come back to. Does that makes sense? Happiness is what everyone needs and why not get it if you can? So that's what i'm doing..getting all the happiness that i could get...even though it leaves me being tired and groggy the next morning, out of breath, sticky, and pimply..hey..if i'm happy, it's all worth it, right?!? Heck yeah it is. Hanging out with my peoples, getting to know new people, talking to old friends, learning new things about my friends and new people..man..it's a blast picking at the brains of people and listening to their stories, their reactions when they hear my stories. These are the moments of "creating a friendship." I love it.
Posted at 5:50 pm by Chochachoo
Permalink
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Get them tube tops, miniskirts, tank tops, shorts, and bikini's outcho closet girls!! It's Summer time!! We gotsta sing our anthem ladiess!!
"It's Summer Time...
And the girls are ready to party,
We gonna get freaky and naughty!
It's Summer Time!!
We goin' be drinkin b****di,
If you down with us,
Put cho hands up,
And feel this song by shakin your bodayyyy"
WHAT??WHAT??OKKAAYYY?? GgGGgG--GIRl UNIT!!haha
(Written April 16, 2005 by: Mae, Ro, Mo, and Jay)
Posted at 1:01 pm by Chochachoo
Permalink
Monday, June 06, 2005
So today was the day, huh??!?
Today was the day i graduated with honors. Thank God for this blessing, letting me finish school with honors..i couldn't believe i did, and i did it. Even though it was only a gold tassel i got to wear, it still made me feel really special. It turned out to be a great day...waking up in the morning and getting my hair ready in less than 5 minutes then running out of the door to see my car graced with messages from my friends..(thank you Jay for all your hard work, and riding my car like you did..haha) it was a great surprise and i can't thank you guys enough for sharing this day with me. It's only the beginning y'all. Then eating at old country buffet where i cried over my corn and mashed potatoes from the card my sister wrote to me...then driving home and freshening up to perform at church, which was a great feeling to be able to perform again. Then chilling with my friends outside as they tagged my car and showed their props..then arriving at the Serrano's house and eatin grub, laughing, joking..taking crazy pictures and just being around the people that make me feel good especially during this time in my life. Thank you for making this day possible for me. I pray that all of you will also be there for my next big milestone in life..*cough* i'm not soo sure what that is....hahaha...So thank you to everyone who shared this day with me. You are all my inspirations and i couldn't have done it without you guys. Big ups to my parents and my sister and kuya J for making this day possible. And to my family far away...i thought about you, you were right here *points to heart*..i miss you and i love you. THank you all... I love you.
Harriett Mae Hidalgo Chan
Bachelor's of Arts in Arts, Entertainment, and Media Management
Concentration in Music Business and Sub-Con in Talent Management and Music Marketing
Columbia College Chicago
June 5, 2005
CLASS OF 2005!!!!
Posted at 12:32 am by Chochachoo
Permalink
Friday, June 03, 2005
I said i wasn't gonna blog..but guess what, you're gonna read it anyway..
I'm really looking forward to my new life. I'm 21 years old, i've accomplished what many people haven't at my age...and here i come...i'm coming strong and with full force. NO ONE is going to bring me down on my days ahead of me that will be full of happiness and success. I've erased all in the past, and i'm starting a new one. All my old ways of being immature and dealing with people who walk all over me, and who don't give me what i deserve..it's gone..you're gone. So as my brovah from england would say "cheers" to a new life and a new me..hell yeah i'm graduating in 2 days!!! And what makes me happy is that my friends and family very close to me who love me unconditionally and treat me the way i should be treated ...thank you for your support and love. I don't have to go out searching and fighting to keep and gain a friendship when all i ever need and want i already have.
Things i'm looking forward to for this year that is making me so happy and excited:
1. I'm graduating on June 5th..even though my friends won't be there, my mom, dad, lora, and kuya j will be there to represent! ...it's the afterparty i'll be looking forward to! Partayy!!thanks to lora who will be hosting this little get-together...and this huge party at the end of the montH?? wow, i'm excited! Tell me what it is and where it's at dammit!!hahhaa
2. Baby bean will be born in December and the whole experience of seeing my sister's tummy grow..in not a fat way..haha is really great and i can't wait to be a tay tay.
3. Got offered a job as the Director of Operations for Across the Board, and Head Account Manager in an industry that i love and surrounded by people that are awesome, and i will continue to grow..watch out now!
4. I'm releasing my album...hahha soike! haha
5. Going on vacation in a couple of months for a month and stripping down to my bikini and gettin black as heyyll.. yes!
6. Camping trip for a couple of days!! I can't wait..we need to start planning it already!
HAppy hAppy Joy Joy..Happy HAPpY Joy jOY!!! wweeeeee!!!!
"Everything's gonna be alright, everything's gonna be ok"
Posted at 4:03 pm by Chochachoo
Permalink
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Hey peoples, i won't be blogging for awhile, i need to contemplate on life and how it sucks, and how it's great, and how my life might change in a week. What i'm going to do with certain situations, where i'm gonna go for vacation, who i'm gonna chill with....it all boils down to me figuring it all out and appreciating everything and to do this i have to kneel down, bow my head, and open my heart to the only person that knows what i feel. So many people dedicate their blogs to friends, to their families and people who have impacted their lives in many ways..but none really i see that is dedicated to the one above us all...God. So i dedicate this blog to my Father in heaven, who, not matter what i've done always understands and forgives me without any questions. Doesn't expect much from me and treats me fairly, even though i hurt him and sometimes i question him, he always keeps me in check, reminding me of what i need to do. He gives me everything i need and is always there to listen, never judges me and only makes my heart stronger when i tell him everything. Without him, i am NOTHING. Just a mere soul that he will take when my time comes, and someone who will dedicate her life for him no matter what is placed in front of her. At least something i'm waiting for will be worth it..he gives me that hope, that strength, the love..something i need right about now.Thank you, my dear God for everything....
amen
Posted at 10:10 pm by Chochachoo
Permalink
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
say goodbye to 8 inches of my hair........
My boss treated me to a $85 haircut today...=/
Posted at 10:19 pm by Chochachoo
Permalink
Thursday, April 14, 2005
"I'm sick and tired of following my dreams....i'll just ask them where they're going and i'll meet up with them later."-bathroom stall
**how come you mofo's read my ish and don't comment on it??** y'all are fired!
Posted at 3:43 pm by Chochachoo
Permalink
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Best Concert EHHVERRR!!!!
So y'all this concert was the best ever!!!...ima post my story that i put up on the message board..so y'all can read my story..here it goes..enjoy!! And thank you to Lora, Ro, Jay, Mo, Irene, and Shannon for sharing this day with me!! Alicia Keys..I LOVE YOU!!hahaha
My My MY y’all….it’s been 3 days since I met the wonderful, beautiful, and talented Alicia Keys. Anyway, I know y’all are anxious to hear my meet and greet story so lemme get down to it. I know Ms. Jasmine and Ms. Shannon already wrote their experiences. But here’s my side. Me, Shannon, and my girl Mo got to the venue at 4. Only me and Shannon had a meet and greet, so my friend decided to just go shopping until we were done. We met with about 8 other people and me and Shannon started talking with Jasmine, Dawn, and I forgot her name..but she had a skirt on and she was freezing in the cold! Poor boo boo..anyway, we was chillin and talking, waiting and waiting…4:30 past and we still haven’t heard anything..until finally we see Carter come and he says he’ll be right back. Yeah right! He never came back until 5:45! Haha So we saw all her crew come in and I was too shy to call them over, but they all smiled and said “hi” to us. While we were waiting we all devised a plan as to what we were going to say to Alicia. We all knew that we would probably ask her questions, so I was assigned to say the “ice-breaker” question which was “Which do you prefer? A serious question that makes you think? Or a funny/stupid question just to make you laugh?” and then whatever question she would answer then we’d go ahead with out serious and funny questions. We kept cracking up as to the funny jokes we should ask her. But I know y’all know about the “Sex on the piano” question which she DID answer!haha But then at around 5:45 we see a white/pearl escalade roll up and then Alicia comes walkin past us with a thick jacket and sunglasses, and her hood over her head…we didn’t even recognize her. Then we all said Hi and she waved and said “Hey” and walked inside. Then..about 15 minutes later Carter comes out and he calls our names for us to get our wrist bands. We waited some more..until one of the security guys tells us to go to the front and get out of the cold..i guess Alicia saw us outside freezing and told them to tell us to go inside and wait (well that’s what she said when we talked to her)…nice! We were already there for 2 hours! But the security guy did tell us that we could wait inside, but I wanted to see the crew come in and Alicia come in, but it was allll worth it!! So we wait inside for another 10 minutes and then the security guy calls us and we all walk towards the backstage area through the theatre and they break us up into 2 groups. I was in the last group with Shannon, Jasmine, and Dee, it sucked sort of that we got separated from Dawn because we had a plan..but owell. So we wait for the first group to be done and I was takin pictures of the sound board and the backstage area and all that cool stuff..then our security friend comes out and hands me the set list..so I took a picture of it because I couldn’t take it, it was cool..she had 18 songs on there, i’ll post up pictures later. So then after about 10 minutes the group was coming down…Dawn goes “ I asked the Sex question” and I’m like “OH Yeah!! What’d she say??” and Dawn said “She goes…hmm haven’t done that yet, but I’ll take care of it when I get home” hahaha I was crackin up! Haha then we say our byes to each other and head upstairs. Then the security guy told us to wait for like a minute, by now I’m trying to remain calm…but inside I’m like “what the hell am I going to say?” so we walk in, it smelled really nice and there was a lot of candles and I saw her makeup all out in front of a mirror, and I saw the table that had some vegetables and dip and nutra grain bars…haha Shannon was first, then me, dee, and Jasmine. Alicia greets Shannon by shaking her hand..then she gets to me and looks at me with this warm smile and puts her hand out and says “Hi! Good to see you” I’m like “I’m Mae, it’s good to see you too” and I’m like Daym she doesn’t remember me from the book signing! Haha Owell…so she goes down the line and then asks us where we’re from and then she was checkin out what I was wearing and then goes “Y’all know you’re from Chicago..so where’s your jackets??” and we all start laughin and I’m like “I’m used to the cold, but it ain’t that bad” haha I don’t know what the other people said..mah bad. Then Alicia apologized for making us wait in the cold and said that she was trying to get us to inside and stay warm. Then she said she has something for us, and she went past me, and I tried to get out of the way and my leg hit her table hha I was like wHhoops!! Haha then she went to Shannon and asked for her name, then to me and She goes “Mae with a Y” I was like no with an E and she was like “Mae! Here ya go” and I was like thank you! She went around giving people their pictures…she is soo cute!!haha she was wearing a blue and yellow shirt with a picture of a girl with an afro…it was cute..and she had jeans and some gym shoes, I was like too nervous to look at what she was wearing..haha I think she made me nervous because she kept looking at my hand which had my camera in it..haha dunno why. Then Dee started telling Alicia about the Autumn situation and Alicia was like yeah, I’ll send her a picture. Then Alicia is standing right next to me..and she was like we’ll take pictures for everyone. So when she took a picture with Shannon she said “say chi-chi’s” and I was like “do you know what Chi-chi’s means in Spanish?” and she looks at me and smiles and says “Boobies” haha I’m like yeah..i have no idea why I said that!! I’m a goof ball and I just say things to make people laugh..haha that was what I was trying to accomplish that day. I didn’t want to come off and try to be serious and be smart and stuff, I wanted to have fun and just talk like I would talk to her like she was my friend. And it worked, but afterwards I felt like a dumb ass…haha Soo…it was my turn and she goes “Mae!” and I couldn’t look at her for some reason..haha I know she was looking at me! Haha I got nervous..she put her arm out and put it around my waist and I’m taller than her so I had to bend a little and she put her head on my head and her assistant took the picture. Then I go, I don’t know if you remember me, but I met you at the book signing..i gave you a gift, a keychain and I was wondering if you used it..(I bought her a Tiffany’s keychain that was engraved with the saying “To Alicia: The many doors of possibilities are endless, Love, Mae” it like represented something like she was the keys and the keychain was her heart, soul, and everything that makes her..her, and as long as she has her keys connected to her keychain it’ll never get lost and she’ll be able to open those door with them) don’t know if that makes sense, but that was my gift to her. And she said “Yeah, it’s good to see you again..and she said Yeah, totally!!” and was nodding meaning she does use it, but I don’t think she knows what I was talking about, if she remembered she would have said so..but I guess she really doesn’t use it =( hella expensive keychain!hhaha just playin, it was worth it anyway…she was just being nice..haha it’s ok. But afterwards Shannon was like “See!! She does remember you!” haha So the other girl’s got their pictures taken…all I remember was sayin like little ghetto remarks…imagine a tall asian girl saying ghetto slang..haha sorry that’s just how I grew up…Alicia was laughin at what I would say..i don’t even remember what I said but I was making her laugh. Then after the pictures she was still standing next to me and says so do you guys have any questions…and then I go about telling her that we had a plan..and she was like “what, were you guys going to gang up on me?” and we’re like “no” haha and I ask her “well the plan was to ask you if you would rather have a question that was interesting and serious? Or a funny/stupid question?” and then she goes about telling us that “well with the other group, Dawn…” and I interrupted her and said “Yeah, she asked you the sex question” haha I can’t believe I interrupted Alicia keys!!haha stupid stupid stupid *hits head* haha and she started laughing and then she goes well one serious and one funny. And then so here comes the serious question from Jasmine… “How does it feel fulfilling your dreams” or something like that and she answered “She feels blessed that she’s able to bring everything together like when she looks at her book , she’s like I did that..i worked to get that out there...and seeing everyone and going everywhere is wonderful.” Something like that…then the funny question, and she started dancing around like a little kid, it was cute..haha “ I was embarrassed to ask it and I was like to Shannon.. “Should I ask her the period question?” and then she said “yeah, do it” then I start off by saying “well since we’re all girls here..” then Alicia goes “Are you going to ask about my Chi-chi’s??” and she’s laughin..and for some reason I look down at my chest and grab my boob and say “ehh..i got small boobies too!” haha and she was laughing and said “well…what are you gonna do??” haha I CAN’T BELIEVE I SAID THAT ALICIA HAS SMALL BOOBS OR SOMETHING!!hahaha CRAP! I didn’t even look at her boobs!!hahah what the heck..i said “ I got small boobies too” which means that she has small ones and I was just agreeing with her or something!!hahah stupid stupid stupid *hits head* haha j/p So then I continue with the question “Well since we’re all girls here, how are you when you’re on your period, do you get mad and pissed off, or crave anything” and she smiles and answers “Well I have my days when things start to get really annoying and I have to remember that it’s that time of the month and that’s the reason why I’m getting annoyed. I don’t get too bad, but I have my days.” And we all chuckled.. and then Dee asked if she can ask another one and Alicia said “Ok, one more.” Dee asks about her movie and her moving here and she said “That so far it looks good and we’ll be doing it in July and Chicago reminds her of home.” Something like that…and then we all thanked her and I asked for a hug..i was like “Can I get a hug??” and she was like “Sure, Mae!!” and then I go in and hug here…right about now I wish I was short…haha I love hugging short people though..haha because I had to bend..haha but she hugged me real tight and after I let go I was like “man!! You do give the best hugs!!” and she smiles and goes “thank you!” and Shannon asked for a hug and then she went around the room..haha then we all said our goodbyes and wished her luck. It was the best experience. She’s so down to earth. I couldn’t believe all the things that this woman has accomplished and she’s still so grounded. She makes you feel that right now is your time and I’m going to be here with you, nothing else matters. She made me feel special..that for those 10 minutes she knew who I was, she knew my name (she said it 4 times!!) haha it’s ok if she doesn’t remember me again, as long as I got to spend those 10 minutes with her…I can die happy. She’s a wonderful person, and I wish I could get to talk to her more..but don’t we all! Soooo anyway, I had to meet up with the rest of my crew..they came later and I was suppose to sit with them..but my company ACROSS THE BOARD MARKETING AND PROMOTIONS!! Holler…my boss told me that he would take care of me..everyone at work knows how much I love her and he called his mom who is a big wig at WGCI and he got me 2 5th row tickets and I was like HELL Yeah!!!haha so I got to bring two more of my friends and me and my girl got to close to the stage! Haha So everyone was good…I’m not going to judge anyone..they did they’re thing, as long as it’s music and they love it and you can see it…that’s what it is! They all rocked their songs in their own way. Alicia was just…I’m speechless it was the best concert I’ve ever been too!! She brought it back and she rocked it!! Just like she said it would! But then nobody was standing up, but me and my girl didn’t care we kept getting up and rockin with her…then she got to the left side of the stage and she saw us and I pointed to her and she pointed back at us…she did this twice..i was like Hell Yah!! You know, Girl!!! I know the people around us were laughin at us, but I was laughin at them because they stupid for going to a concert and paying money and you’re not even having fun..you’re just sitting there like old fogies..haha lamos! But I had so much fun, and it was a great great show!! So I was trying to get backstage because my company is promoting John Legend and I saw a couple of my friends going back stage and I called them and I was late to ask him to get me backstage because John was already leaving and he was all like sorry..haha and then the regional manager for universal, Happy..i saw him go in to the stage door when we were waiting outside..and he saw me and I was like “wassup??how come you didn’t hook me up backstage??” And he’s like “hey!you didn’t call me”…I’m like ehh whatever..haha owell..Man! I’m in the music industry…so why don’t I use my hook ups?!?! Sheesh! I guess I’m just real shy about it, I don’t want it to come off like I’m desperate..but whatever!!haha I knew where the after parties where at but I didn’t go to any of it. I went home to sleep because I had church in the morning.. got home at 2am!! So the next day Sunday, night…My boy called me up and said that he couldn’t even get backstage to meet Alicia..Legend and Alicia have different camps of course and he wasn’t rollin up with Alicia..he talked to Carter and my boy only had a guest pass, and not a All access pass and that’s what he needed. But he told me to go to the after party which was like at 12am. I told him to call me back..but the foo never did…hhaa so the next day I dogged him out and I was like YOU NEVER CALLED ME!! Haha he was suppose to get me an autograph too, but later he told me that Legend started charging $15 for his autograph! I was like AhhH HEyyLL NAH!!! Haha so then he said that Legend was there with Kanye and Kanye played his entire album and it was off the hookk….look for it July 4..but then I was like do you know where Alicia was last night? And he said that he couldn’t see her…that he saw all the fan club members and there was a lot of press..like channel 2 and 5 and that she’s probably going to just stay there for awhile and then probably go home and no after party. Well, it was a fun exciting night…hopefully there will be many more to come….hope y’all enjoyed my meet and greet story. So I’ll be known to Alicia as the “tall asian, chi-chi’s, and period girl” LMAO!
Posted at 1:17 pm by Chochachoo
Permalink
|